So now what....?

Let's see.
Go back to school. Check.
Get into the physical therapist assistant program. Check.
SURVIVE. Check. (well mostly. Marriage/family ok, lost some "friends" along the way but they can kiss my ass.)
Graduate. Check.
Pass national licensure exam. Check.

I feel like I'm at a standstill. Life has been so crazy nuts, 100 mph, non-stop since 2009 that I don't know what to do with down time. Even when I was out of school for the summer, I worked full time. This is weird.

I've submitted 3 applications. I think. One interview scheduled this week, but it's sort of a wishy washy location. They've strung a few of the other applicants along since December so I'm really not holding my breath. Plus, it's a long drive from my house, no benefits, so I'm not really sure I *want* it. But gotta start somewhere.

In the meantime, I guess it's back to folding laundry.

Back on the bandwagon..

So... it's not the first day of the year, and it's not even the first day of the week...but it's time for a first day for me. I'm determined to do better right now. I've given up on doing better this week, or even today...because one thing I've found is that I have absolutely no willpower and frankly, most days I don't seem to care as much as I should.

I've dropped another pant size, which is great...so I bought a pair of 'non fat girl' jeans, in my new size, without stretching fabric or a stretchy waist, in the MIDDLE OF THE HOLIDAYS. So yeah, they aren't a perfect fit. I can wear them, I can be comfortble in them, I just can't eat much while I'm wearing them if I want to breathe. I want to (what's the oppposite of outgrow??) undergrow them. :D

So....with prayer and plenty to do, I hope to move past this slump I'm in.

I scheduled my license exam. This means I also need to get back on the bandwagon of studying and refresh on some of the stuff I've forgotten. (which unfortunately, the more I read, the more I remember that I used to know but have now forgotten.)

Off to a good start so far anyway! On to the next project!

Thou Shalt Not Lie...

Man. What a day.

It was mostly good, and overall, even now, still mostly good. I have a child who is quiet and calm, well mannered, and just generally laid back. He is responsible, makes good grades, plays sports, and is very active in 4H with the engineering and snap robotics.

Then I have the child that gives me gray hair. She is the polar opposite of my son, and she is wearing me out. The sad part is she is so freaking smart, but she knows it...and therefore only puts forth the bare minimum of effort.  The biggest thing lately has been the lying. I suppose that part if it has been distraction on my part, and a lack of time to focus on her behaviour. As I told her last week, a new sheriff is in town!

So anyway, I found out that she not only lied to her Nana, but got caught. Nana let it go, and I can't exactly do anything about it a few weeks later. But she lied to me tonight too, over something really silly. This on top of her trying to sneak her Nintendo DS to school in her backpack this week too. And I guess I realized that I've got to step up my game and make her understand that this type of stuff will not be tolerated. Not by us, not by her boss when she gets a job, and not by people as a whole.

So here I sit, with chips, salsa & cheese, and a margarita. Yes I know it's a weeknight, but damn, I'm tired. Parenting is  enough to drive one to drinking. No saltwater to sit by, so I just have to settle for salt on the rim of my glass.

Too much coffee, or maybe not enough?

Good morning = Kitchen cleaned, finally found the table (maybe we can eat together again?) and swept the floors. Relatively healthy breakfast. Managed to avoid the toast that I desperately wanted. LOL
Bad night = Had a run in with a handful of starburst. Definitely not sugar free. I forgot that in order to stick with healthy choices, it helps to have been to the store and have healthy options on hand already. Ah well. Today is a new day.

Plenty of coffee. Mostly motivated. Should get started on the living room. Really don't want to. Really, in fact, would rather go crawl in the bed with my husband. It's a cold, drizzly day. But he only has about 90 minutes left to sleep though, and I'm pretty sure if I go in there now I'll wake him up for good, which sort of defeats the purpose of napping with him.

Got my son's Christmas shopping done. Yay. One person, finally done. Need to pick up a few other things for my daughter. And something for my husband. Very slim shopping this year. I miss having an unlimited budget. I've come to terms with the fact that we will probably never make the amount of money we used to, but I would like to at least not have to count every single penny we spend. I probably still will, just because that's how I am, but it will be nice to not stress over money all the time. :S

Graduation!

Here it is, finally, graduation! Well, ok, it was last week, but I've been busy celebrating with my friends and fellow graduates this weekend. My husband is still on night shift, at least until the lay offs starts. I have gotten up in the mornings, got my kiddos ready for school, and promptly went back to bed with my honey. Has been nice to just spend time together and relax. He had finals last week, so not quite as relaxing for him, but this week is off to a great start!!
I should really be up and about. I need to clean my house (for reasons I can't post on the internet, just yet anyways!!) and I need to go get the cashier's checks so I can send off my application to test to the state boards and the Federation. Fingers crossed! I need to test prior to Feb,or else I'm going to get trapped in the new rules that take place which only allow testing 3 times per year. I'm not overly excited about taking the licensure test, but I'm sure not planning to wait until April to test either!
Things have been crazy nuts, but I can at least see a little bit of down time in my future. With US Foods closing down their Paducah division, I have *got* to find something full time to provide us with insurance, and that's a stressful thought. I had been in school all this time just planning to work PRN (because that's where the $$ is) and could work around my kids and their sports schedules. I'm really not looking forward to working full time and having to carry the insurance and benefits because I know the hours are going to be crazy long. Anything in the medical field is. But... I'm hoping that this will at least give my husband a rest, who's worked like a dog the last 3 years to put me through school. He's worked 80+ hrs a week at his "night job" and picked up a couple odd jobs here and there as needed to help make ends meet. He's a true treasure!
Hoping and praying something will open up!
In the meantime, it's a cleaning frenzy around here! 2 years worth of deep cleaning to be done.  :)

With the good...

comes the bad.

I read the obits today before I went in for my shift and found that one of my patients passed away this weekend. He was doing so well last week, but had to have a port put in for his dialysis. He was so concerned about the anesthesia, and how he did not want to be put under. The next day he wasn't doing so well, and then I found that he had been moved back into the critical care unit after his surgery. Just proof that the one who holds us in His hand has a plan for everything.

That said, I got my first week review done, and I'm doing really well. That makes me happy. I'm a people pleaser so it's hard for me to be a student...I want to do a good job!! Of course, today I forgot to put the socks on my CABG patient which is a huge safety issue but we made it safely back to the room, so phew!!! Live and learn...a little more every day. :)

Time flies...

when you eat, sleep, and breathe physical therapy. I have finished up my last semester, and started clinicals this week.

I was placed in ICU/CCU units at a local hospital. It's terrifying and amazing all at the same time. Amazing at what science has discovered about the human body, and unbelievable  at the same time...we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

I have seen people survive some pretty amazing things this week, and had a patient that was doing so well take an unbelievable turn for the worse. It has just confirmed my thoughts that God has a time and place or everything.

I read somewhere once that the more educated a person was, the less likely they are to believe in God. I think the more I learn, the more amazed I become by His power.